It was January 23rd when I first heard about the virus. I was on my way to Anji to vacation with my family for the Chinese New Year holiday. I had started to see people posting about it on WeChat, at first I was going to joke about it over the phone but then worried about getting banned, so I didn't. Even in Anji in the countryside people were talking about it. They were asking where we were coming from, making sure we weren't coming from Hubei province. The resort had already had a lot of cancellations, there were only 2 or 3 familias in addition to mine. On January 27th I made my way back to Shanghai. I got pulled aside at the train station for temperature testing. The police took down my address, government ID, and phone numbers. The lockdown had started.

I also realized how boring it would be to be stuck in my shoebox city apartment. I'm local Chinese but work for the British government and am lucky to be able to work from anywhere. It was isolating physically and mentally at first. My coworkers in the UK did not understand what was going on. People outside of Asia are so removed from it. This is not our fault, this is not the people's fault. Media and governments should be held accountable but do not take it out on the people. After a week in Nanjing making sure my parents were cared for I returned to Shanghai where I was quarantined to my apartment for two weeks. I started to really enjoy my quarantine time, I found solace in meditation, which I practiced daily. That being said, the hardest part to get used to was the deafening silence.

A once bustling Shanghai, one of the biggest cities in the world, came to a screeching halt. I made a few WeChat calls to friends during quarantine but at that time I didn't even want to talk to people. I read books but probably should have read even more. Now coming back out into the city I see the economic impact first hand. All of the boutiques and small shops surrounding my apartment have closed their doors permanently, the spas are really suffering as well. The Chinese government implemented policies to support commerce but most of the smaller businesses have not been able to take advantage of the government assistance.

My biggest fear that has come from this virus is that of racism and xenophobia. The policies that governments are implementing now are scaling back years of globalization. This pandemic is nothing new, Bill Gates has been talking about it for years but people have a hard time facing the truth. This whole experience has been very individual and solitary. As Chinese we felt totally alone while we battled this virus, people thought it was a "China problem" not a Western problem. We are not a part of the lovely stories of coming together for the greater good, we are ostracized. Now we have the issue of mask diplomacy! If we don't donate masks to other countries we are criticized, if we donate and try to help we are criticized and blamed yet again. I now feel like I am going through this all over again as my coworkers in the UK are on lockdown, it's quite strange to be affected by it twice.

Together we will get through this. I trust the scientists, I trust the medical support staff. This may be a Chinese approach but I think we just need to get on with it now. I'm looking forward to when we can travel again, for my next trip I plan to go to Tel Aviv. Until then I will refer to this quote by Pascal: "The sole cause for man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room."

*Names have been withheld out of respect for privacy. Moderate edits made for tone.