Today while doing a bit of year end housekeeping, I stumbled across the tattered sweat and tequila smeared paper that bore the speech I gave at my best friend’s wedding. This was serendipitous for two very important reasons. First, tomorrow is her birthday and I had been reminiscing about our years of friendship all day in anticipation. Second, I had recently been reflecting on my own relationship and what really mattered when all was said and done. Tear drops fell to join the sweat and tequila on the paper as I re-read what I had wrote two falls prior; it went something like this…
Emily- as I was thinking about what to say tonight, I thought back on all we’ve done, the adventures we’ve had and the memories we have made. Amidst the joy, the sadness, the calm and the chaos encountered on this stroll down memory lane, one simple and unassuming memory kept persistently resurfacing.
For years we spent our summers lounging in the hammock in your front yard talking about life and how ours might unfold. This became an annual tradition and right of passage as we closed the chapter on one year and prepared to open the next. From riding to your house by bike then driving by car, this continued year in and year out until one seemingly unassuming Sunday I arrived to find an unfamiliar face in “our” spot.
I imagine my reaction could have earned a casting in 2001 A Space Odyssey as I surveyed the intruder. Apprehension and fear began to build as my assessment determined I had a serious threat on my hands. Was I being replaced? Was my best friend about to become just another memory like the ones we reminisced about on those lazy summer days? But then as my thoughts continued to spiral downward a slew of sarcasm, quick wit and dry humor cleared the pessimistic fog from my eyes. I saw clearly that this was not a threat at all, I was not losing a best friend, I was gaining another.
Fast forward 9 years through high school, college and young adulthood and through it all I have been honored to be your third wheel. Occasionally the Three Musketeers but more often the Three Stooges we have continued to make memories worth smiling about in that hammock. I will say, however, the simple memories have remained my favorite. This is entirely due to the fact that you two are incredible individuals and an unparalleled pair.
Emily and Blake, you are both such brilliant, hilarious, easy going and caring people that simply being and being together is enough. Enough to bring immense happiness to yourselves and all those lucky enough to be around you. While I haven’t technically been around you this past year, I have told your story time and time again because I am so proud to know of a love like yours.
What you two have is not normal, it is not ordinary — it is extraordinary. That being said remember that it is your ability to find joy in those ordinary moments, the ones that will become the simple memories, that will continue to make your love extraordinary for years to come.
After a year ridden with bouts of both excessive joy and unfathomable sadness I have lost myself in the drama of it all. I have not headed my own advice. I have forgotten that it is not the peaks and the valleys of life that matter most, it is the steady heartbeat of simple joys that sustain life in yourself and your relationships. At the end of the day, it’s a squeeze of the hand, a kiss on the forehead, an understanding smile and a lazy afternoon in a hammock doing nothing but enjoying another’s company. This is what makes life worthwhile. As I continue to wrap up this year and prepare for the next like Emily and I have done so many times before, I’m glad to be reminded about who I want in my hammock. Don’t forget to stop and cherish the ordinary moments and to reflect on who you want in yours.
